Forget what you’ve heard. Yep, forget everything you’ve heard or assumed about someone who is depressed, has the blues, or is in a funk. How many of you have ever been in a funk? Maybe you didn’t even know how it came on, but you were down, isolating yourself from your friends and family, and couldn’t shake it? My hand is up y’all. It is what it is, right? When you’re in that funk, it seems like everything is wrong, it’s never gonna get any better, and it’s hard to see any hope or light at the end of the tunnel.
What if it’s not someone else, and you’re the one that suffers from depression or some kind of mental illness? Here’s the first thing that I wanna make clear: if you or someone close to you has depression, it’s okay! You’re not the first person to have a mental illness, and I’m sure you’re not the last either.
Similar to how someone may have diabetes or heart disease, depression is an illness, and should be taken seriously. It’s not something to make fun of or make memes about. And, we shouldn’t stigmatize or harshly judge someone who has depression or another form of mental illness as if they’re an outcast, because we don’t have the right to.
To be honest, you can never really know why someone has the blues all the time. Often, it’s from events that were beyond their control such as childhood trauma like molestation, rape, witnessing a murder, mental or physical abuse, losing a sibling or parent at a young age, and much more.
Even if someone is depressed because of a bad decision they’ve made in their adult life, who are you and I to judge? Does it affect our lives that much? There’s also medical evidence that suggests that depression is hereditary. In the article, “Is Depression Hereditary,” published in Psychology Today, Dr. Michael J. Meaney, states that “genes as well as the environment makes one susceptible to depression.”
Today, people are SO ashamed of having a mental illness because of harsh criticism and trifling public perception, that they may avoid treatment.
Here are 2 key things to remember:
#1: Everyone who has a mental illness like depression is not crazy.
#2: Everyone who has a mental illness didn’t do anything to bring it on themselves.
I believe we’re all capable of being compassionate and kind. One way to put it in the proper perspective is to think about it like this: what if you treated the person who has depression or a mental illness like you’d want someone to treat your mom, dad, sister, brother, or child? It’s really that simple.
If you’re curious, here’s a list of Depression Symptoms published in Psychology Today for those who think they or a loved one may be affected.
Here are 4 easy ways to cope with depression, the blues, or a funk:
1). Don’t beat yourself up.
It’s not fair to browbeat yourself for how you’re feeling. Think about this: what would you tell your best friend if she said that she’s been in a funk for a month or so? Would you tell her to get over it and move on? Maybe to suck it up, or it’s not that bad? Or, would you tell her to be patient with herself, get enough rest, and call you anytime she needs to talk? If you’re anything like me, I think you’d choose to encourage and uplift.
If you’re so eager to support and encourage your friend, you should also be willing to accept your own advice, and be as gentle with yourself as you’d be with her. Often times, we’re nicer to others, but tend to be much harder on ourselves for no apparent reason. Again, it’s unfair to you because when you’re feeling down, you deserve tons of kindness and compassion.
2). Think of ways to feel better.
Even though it may be extremely hard, try to think of 2 simple things you can do to feel better. I’m talking about very simple things like enjoying a cup of tea or coffee, reading your favorite magazine (even an old one), enjoying a hot bath, taking a short walk, going for a drive, or listening to music.
I know that doing any of those things won’t completely take away your blues. But, it may help you to feel just a little better until you can put your finger on the real issue, or the funk lifts. What helps me? I thought you’d never ask. Listening to my favorite songs of all-time usually lifts my spirits. And, walking around the house in a fly pair of heels, after looking in the full-length mirror at my cuteness, is my back up plan. No judgment, right?
3). Accept help.
I know. I actually had the nerve to write those dreadful words: accept help. When you’re depressed or in a funk, sometimes the last thing you wanna do is have a friend or family member in your space trying to be chipper and happy. When it’s time to be sad, that’s what you wanna be. Period. I’m not sure why isolation is one of the first things we do when we’re down, but it just is.
I know it’s not healthy, but personally, I don’t want to be bothered. Although my husband tries to be super helpful and lift my spirits, I literally hate every bone in his body. Thank goodness it’s only temporary though. Lol. If you’re thinking that I’m so positive, well you’re right. Almost. I’m positive about 85% of the time. It’s that other 15% that gets me in trouble, and that’s where my sadness comes in.
The moral of the story is to try to accept help from a genuine friend because it may help you feel better, and it’s dangerous to isolate yourself for long periods when you’re in a funk. Isolation allows more time for self-pity and possibly suicidal thoughts to enter your space, which is why it’s potentially dangerous.
If things are getting unbearable, and you need to talk to someone immediately, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Their trained staff is available 24 hours a day, and seven days a week. You can also find them online here: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
4). Make a plan.
While you’re being patient and allowing yourself to feel what you’re feeling, you also don’t want to let those unhealthy feelings control you. If you don’t feel better within a few weeks, what are you gonna do? It’s better to be proactive and have a spade ready if you need it. Do you have a medical doctor or a therapist to consult to determine your next step? If not, ask for referrals from someone you trust. Then, make an appointment, apply the advice that resonates with you, and follow up as needed. Your mental and emotional health are everything, and you need to take care of them just like you’d care for a physical illness.
What if you’re against getting help from a mental health professional? I realize that it’s a personal decision, and in certain cultures it’s taboo, frowned upon to see a therapist, and to take medication for a mental illness. But, what are your options? To continue to suffer in silence and not be your best self? Or, to be unable to care for your family and daily responsibilities? Here’s a refreshing article to read to help you create a simple plan to get things back on track: 3 Boss Things To Do When You’re Not Feeling It.
Again, your mental and emotional health is precious, and requires appropriate health care, just as your physical health requires good health care. I want you to get help from a professional today if you or someone you love needs it. And remember, there are shiny lights and blue skies at the end of the tunnel!
Do you or someone you know deal with depression or some other mental illness? How do you feel about the stigma surrounding it? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.
References Used:
Depression: Symptoms of Depression. Psychology Today.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/depression/symptoms-depression
Meaney, M. (2013). Is Depression Hereditary. Psychology Today.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hope-through-research/201509/is-depression-hereditary