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Karen Doniere | Life Coach

Karen Doniere | Life Coach

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You are here: Home / Featured / 5 Reasons Why Forgiveness Is a Gift You Give to Yourself

By Karen Admin

5 Reasons Why Forgiveness Is a Gift You Give to Yourself

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Do you remember that big fight you had with your bestie on the playground in elementary school? What was it about? Did someone new enter the picture, or was it something completely different? 

Either way, how long did it take you to make up? And, why does it take adults so long to forgive and forget, and move forward in their relationships? The answer may surprise you.

Here are 5 reasons why forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.

At some point in our lives, we’ve been hurt or betrayed so badly that we can’t begin to think about forgiveness because we’re too busy trying to heal or stay sane.

Occasionally, you’ll hear about those great forgiveness stories by everyday people just like you and me. How are they able to put everything on the table and do the work to forgive and live a happier life?

They have learned the truth about forgiveness.

1. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself because you deserve it.

Forgiveness happens when you let go of anger, resentment, and the desire to get even associated with an offense or someone who hurt you.

Understandably, when you’ve been hurt, you want an apology as soon as possible. But is that realistic? Despite whether you receive an apology or not, you can forgive the other person. 

Let’s talk about the three most common signs of unforgiveness which are excessive anger, resentment, and guilt to see if they are familiar. If so, commit to taking action now. 

2. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself because you need it.

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Excessive Anger

Anger is a normal, healthy, and even appropriate emotional response to a real or perceived offense. It is harmful only when it’s uncontrolled.

Anger may reveal itself as: 

  • name-calling when angry
  • engage in road rage
  • friends, family, colleagues avoid you
  • you blame others for your angry outbursts

When you commit to healing and doing the necessary work, you are also committing to the newfound freedom that comes from forgiving yourself and others. 

3. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself because you’ve decided that you deserve it. 

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Resentment

Resentment is the big sister to anger. It’s having negative feelings for or a desire to get even with the person who hurt you. It can turn into rage and even hatred if it’s not addressed.

As a teenager, I remember when I realized what my dad was doing. He often compared my older sister and me because she went to college directly after high school. I was so proud of her and knew he was too. 

He was also angry and disappointed in me because I was a troubled teenage mom and married at a young age. I was also a non-traditional college student who later obtained my BA and MA degrees with three children while working full-time. 

But, the cruel comparison to my sister often made me feel like a failure. My dad talked about everything I didn’t accomplish. As a result, I resented my sister. 

The danger of harboring resentment is that it can make you feel unworthy, regretful, and impact your relationships. Those inadequate feelings can make you feel stuck in your current situation with no way out. 

I decided to work through my resentment because it was unhealthy and unproductive. 

4. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself because you are not a victim.

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Guilt

Guilt is an emotion you feel when your action or inaction hurts someone. You feel like you’ve acted against your principles. Guilt can also make you think that you’ve negatively impacted someone else’s life or believe life isn’t fair. Lingering guilt can be crippling. It can make you feel like something is suffocating you. It’s almost an indescribable feeling! 

Guilt may reveal itself as: 

  • crying spells
  • unnecessary apologizing 
  • insomnia
  • head pain

Admittedly, I made some terrible decisions as a young mom and lived with the guilt for years! I tried to be a good parent and wanted to do better. It was the great Maya Angelou who said, “when you know better, you do better.” And, eventually, I became a better mother. 

5. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself because you learn to stop living in the past and enjoy the present. You also learn how to live in the moment.

Do you or someone you know struggle with anger, resentment, or guilt? Or, do you want to learn more about the power of forgiveness, if so please join me for my free masterclass. It’s on Tuesday, June 9th at 8 pm EST, Free Your Mind: 3 Steps from Resentment to Freedom: http://bit.ly/freeymclassim

I truly believe in the power of forgiveness and the freedom it brings. I finally found freedom and happiness and want the same thing for you. Will you join me?

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@karendoniere On Instagram

Earlier I shared something from my past with my fr Earlier I shared something from my past with my friends that’s still a sore spot today.

I was super quiet and shy like my mom. And I guess folks took that as this big invitation to bully me from like 6th - 11th grade. 

It got so bad that I’d walk to and from school; rain, sleet, or whatever. 

Oh check this out. They didn’t like my nappy hair or big 👄. And one day before I started walking to school they cut my hair! 

All I know is this: I have learned to love every single thing about me that makes me unique, different, and weird.

These big full lips are everything to me. And the ladies in my local Ulta wish they had em. And my hair that I’ve been cutting, perming, coloring and wearing natural since the 8th grade is on my shoulders. It’s just as kinky and gorgeous as it can be! 💞

I wish someone would’ve told me everything I know now. 👀

Even when I’m having a kinda chaotic day, I say this affirmation to remind me that all is well and I’m literally okay. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, don’t ever let anybody dim your light!
Aye, I’m in chill mode. The first pic is me enjo Aye, I’m in chill mode. The first pic is me enjoying pics of my baby. And the second pic is somebody interrupting me. 👀
I enjoyed this beautiful artistic sight earlier on I enjoyed this beautiful artistic sight earlier on my walk. I don’t know what kinda spider left their mark. But I do know that the country spiders are different from the city ones. The flowers were pretty too. And, the sunshine and fresh air was ah-mazing! 😉
At a reggae concert in the park amphitheater with At a reggae concert in the park amphitheater with the hubby. We were an hour late and opening acts are still playing. 🙄
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Life Coach Karen Doniere helps busy women learn how to release anger and resentment so they can be happier now. Read More…

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