Many of the woman I coach and talk to via email struggle with a lack of self-confidence. I can relate because in my early 20’s I wasn’t as confident as should have been. Actually, my confidence was here one day and gone the next. Lol. It wasn’t until I hit my late 30’s that I started to feel more confident and self-assured.
The big question is, why is having self-confidence so important anyway? Well, the answer is simple: you’ll be much happier, and you’ll feel better about yourself, your accomplishments, and even your mistakes.
Here are 3 easy steps to improve your self-confidence and feel happier.
1. Determine Why You Lack Self-confidence
Do you know why you’re not feeling confident? The first thing I want you to do is to figure it out. When and why did it start? For example, if you’re self-conscious about your lips being full like mine are, maybe you cover your mouth every time you smile or laugh. But what you’re really doing is hiding your beautiful smile from everyone who needs to see it; including you.
Maybe you’re used to your ideas being dismissed as not important by a parent, sibling or colleague when they’re actually very good. And, this has caused you not to feel confident or assertive. If so, the same principles will apply to help you as well.
Hopefully, you’ve discovered when and why your confidence issue started. Now, I want you to think about why it matters. I’ll also let you in on a little secret, chances are high that no one notices your issue but you unless you bring it to their attention. If not, don’t worry. Give it more time.
2. Counteract Negative Thoughts
Once you’ve pinpointed the underlying cause of your confidence issues, you have to counteract the negative connotations and thoughts you’ve previously associated with them, with positive, new statements or affirmations to change how you think and feel about them.
For example, if your skinny legs make you feel terrible about yourself because you were teased in high school about them, what positive statements can you use to instantly encourage yourself every time you look at your legs or think about wearing a dress?
Instead Of Thinking Or Saying This Negative Statement:
“I hate my skinny legs!”
Use These Positive Statements:
“My legs are skinny, but they’re so toned and pretty.”
“I love my skinny legs because they fit into my jeans perfectly!”
“My legs are kinda skinny, and they’re also adorable!”
Every time you start to think about how you previously felt about your legs or another issue, you have to counteract it with a positive statement or affirmation. And before long, you’ll slowly start to feel a change. A big change in your in your self-confidence!
3. Sharing Is Caring
The last thing I want you to do to improve your self-confidence is to make a goal to compliment at least two other women every day for at least seven days. But there’s a catch. First, why do I want you to compliment someone else you ask?
Because when I compliment another woman, especially when I’m feeling down, it makes me feel so much better. Basically, it makes me happy. And, it brightens the other person’s day too.
Think about it: when you compliment another woman, watch her body language and how her face lights up. What if she was having a bad day or wasn’t feeling well? You’ve immediately impacted her day in such a simple, but huge way! And, it feels amazing to know someone thought your hair, jewelry, or makeup looked great.
So your assignment is to compliment two women for the next seven days. One of those women must be someone you don’t know, and the other one must be you. Yes, you. Look yourself in the eye every day in the mirror and say something nice. Let me know how it goes.
For example, I’d say something like this:
“Karen I really like your hair today.” Or, “I love your make up!”
After you’ve completed the complimenting exercise, you’ll also notice that you’ll start getting more compliments too. It happens to me every time. And, you’ll feel a little happier. I want you to accept every compliment by simply saying thank you. And, know that your self-confidence will soon be off the charts.
How do you regain your confidence when it’s lost? If you have other techniques and secrets, please share them in the comments section below.